Cry in Shame
by SilverWolf7
Summary: 4th story in the Gabriel's Recovery series. Lucifer starts crying. Gabriel doesn't understand why. He tells Sam when he goes to check on the archangels on guard duty. This was supposed to make Gabriel feel better, not confuse him further than he already was.


I just couldn't help myself. This goes right after the scene when Lucifer starts crying after Gabriel lays into him. Because I loved that scene so much.

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Cry in Shame

He had meant every single damn word he had said.

He was so sick of Lucifer blaming everyone else for his own faults. So tired of having the bad things Lucifer done cast aside ether as a joke or like they hadn't happened. Done with Lucifer blaming everything on Dad.

It actually came as a surprise to him when what he said caused Lucifer to cry. Oh, sure, his older bro tried to hide it. He turned away, walked off to another car not too far away from the camp and climbed inside its door free side.

All Gabriel could do was watch out the corner of his eye. Because he didn't understand why. Lucifer didn't feel remorse. He didn't feel guilt or empathy. So why the waterworks?

If he was anyone else, he'd say they were crocodile tears, but Lucifer put so much attention to his cold heart and lack of the 'human' feelings that he'd never put on a show like that. If anything, he'd change everything into anger and lash out physically.

Given the last words Lucifer had said was that he should watch himself, Gabriel was of the mind that Lucifer wanted to do that, but instead listened to him.

Lucifer had listened and was hurt and instead of turning that to anger like he had wanted, he had started crying instead.

He heard footsteps behind him and he whirled around at the sound. He had thought maybe it was Dean come to check on them, but instead it was Sam.

"Oh, it's you. Hey Sam."

Sam looked around him cautiously. "Where's Lucifer. He wasn't supposed to leave the area!"

Gabriel chuckled and shook his head. "He's over there in the truck without a door. He hasn't left the area, just me."

He got a confused look back at that, Sam's head tilting slightly to one side, a gesture he must have picked up from spending so much time with Castiel. "Why is he over there and not with you?"

Gabriel shrugged his shoulders. "He's a tiny bit upset at me right now. He didn't like what I had to say to him. It's about as private as he's going to get and stay in the area."

Sam stared at him like he didn't understand. And that made sense in a way. If anyone else here got Lucifer it was his True Vessel. "Why would he do that? He's supposed to be on watch."

Gabriel rubbed at his face. "We got into a little bit of a heated conversation. He wants to impress his son. He sees himself as wasting time away from trying to impress Jack. I kind of maybe lost my temper a bit and told him some hard truths. He didn't like that."

With that said, he laughed and shook his head. "Sam, he listened to me. When I said upset, I don't mean angry. I mean upset. He started crying."

Sam frowned and shook his head. "Lucifer doesn't cry. He'll tell you a sob story and try to win you over that way, but he doesn't cry. He's too far gone for that."

"He cried over my fake body after he killed me. Hell, he started crying before he did the killing. It's not an impossibility. But that made sense. He would mourn me, even if not for long. He raised me, Sam. I know him. This is different. I told him why I thought he was shoved in the cage. Any other time, he would have gotten angry or he would have fought with me with words about how full of it I was and deny it all, blaming it on someone else. Probably dad. But he didn't. He listened to me and was hurt."

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Gabe, Lucifer can't afford to get outwardly angry right now. You said it yourself that he's putting everything into impressing Jack. If he gets outwardly angry, he'll lash out and if he lashes out, he'll lose Jack. He'll just be another bad guy angel to destroy."

Gabriel frowned at that, noting Sam's emphasis on anger being outwardly shown. "So what, he's crying because he's angry but can't show it?"

Sam grinned and shook his head. "No, he's crying because he turned the anger inwards instead. It has nowhere else to go. He hides it well, but Lucifer hates himself just as much as everyone else does. I think he actually understands that now."

"Soooo, he's crying from hate?"

Sam laughed. "No, not hate necessarily. Shame. He had no choice but to listen to what you were saying and he hates it. But his go to way of dealing with anything he hates is to get angry at it. But he can't now, so he has to deal with it the way anyone else would."

Gabriel sighed and shook his head, kicking at a stone at his feet. "Do you... Do you think it's possible he could change?"

Sam glared at the truck and shrugged. "Hate to say this to you since he's your brother and all, but personally I don't care if he can change or not."

With that said, Sam walked back to the camp. Gabriel watched the tall man walking into the building he was staying in with his mother and brother. He turned his gaze back to the truck with no door and watched Lucifer swipe angrily at his face, trying to get rid of the evidence of his lack of control over his emotions.

Great. Just great. He was now even more confused than he was before.

He decided the best thing to do was to ignore this whole thing and get back to looking out for angels.

Lucifer joined him again ten minutes later. Neither one of them said another word to the other for the rest of the night.


End file.
